You think I care??

is it really so difficult?

2009-06-12T18:11:00.000+08:00

Is it really so difficult?

i am tired..
i need a rest from all this..

thank you..

Life as a chow gin nan nowadays

2009-06-01T19:59:00.002+08:00

Life as a chow gin nan nowadays..

at K1, he is suppose to spell words like "garden", "flower", "honey", "nectar" and "sweet" for this week and "train", "walkway" ,"lift", "cart" and "animal" for next week... and more words to add each week...

at K1, he is playing starSSsssswarssss the clone warssssss <-- as how he pronounced, on wii and psp... and he is bluffing me that .. darth maul is the good guy at first (cause he is using that character) and turn bad when he level up to the next stage....

at K1, he is watching movies like X-men 1, 2 and 3, used 3 pencils to pretended wolverine infront of his classmate..

Life as a chow gin nan nowadays is quite happening.. especially when you are in K1...

Few days ago

2009-05-19T19:46:00.003+08:00

she was stress for the last few days...

then she learned to let go... and take things easy... and easy means... she is ready to let go everything if she no longer sees the point of enduring... yes, everything..

she was sick for the last few days..

then she learned that if she is not feeling well, she can only count on herself... no, she dun have another person that she can depend on or to take care of her...

she learns well for the last few days

ohanas and pretended ohanas..

2009-02-24T14:00:00.004+08:00

O_ _ n_ s

will be there no matter WHAT HAPPENED..
will be there no matter WHAT YOU DO..
will be there no matter WHO BULLIED YOU..

_ r_ _ t_ _ d_ _ O_ a_ _s

will appeared when UN required..
will bother you UN necessarily..
will ignore you when you need HELP..
will accuse you to be as their level..

不哭

2008-10-30T14:54:00.002+08:00

不哭

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mchWKHaxcVI

alot to say but dun know where to start

2008-10-29T16:31:00.004+08:00

firstly,

next year, will be a busy year.. cause got 2 wedding bells ringing.... although abit -_-"
but, STILL wish the 2 couples to be happily ever after.. and you all BETTER BE!

secondly,

my pa, ma, "jie" and sao went to XX country to do some XX there... i also wanted to follow, but cannot, cause lkk got exam... sianz~

thirdly,

had been driving a MANUAL car ard this few days..
having a car is really convenience for me... YES, i really need a car, a small and cheap car will do.. thank you

...ly,

my life is still the same, everyday..

go work, being scolded for the slightest mistake...
go home, see the 2 fight over the slightest arguments..

i am tired, but cannot stop
i am fat, but can't slim down

Project 55

2008-09-04T20:18:00.002+08:00

ya, project 55..

i NEED to slim down to 55kg, before someone fork out $2K for me to change my WHOLE wardrobe....

i WANT TO leave the cursed of the pang pang ju le bu too...

55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55 55

my life

2008-08-11T13:38:00.001+08:00

this is just a passing phase of my life..

my life is not just about pain, betray, sorrow and gu cai..

there are better things awaiting....

i believe..

.. part III

2008-07-25T20:00:00.000+08:00

http://www.mercedes-benz.com.sg/content/singapore/mpc/mpc_singapore_website/enng/home_mpc/passengercars/home/new_cars/models/a-class/w169.flash.html#chapter=1

.. part II

2008-07-21T12:58:00.001+08:00

http://www.citroen.com.sg/html/pages/subpage_c4hatch_colors.asp

..

2008-07-18T12:39:00.002+08:00

http://app.subcourts.gov.sg/family/page.aspx?pageid=3759

life still goes on...

2008-07-09T17:16:00.002+08:00

life still goes on..

regardless if you have or not,

life still goes on..

regardless if you are happy or not,

life still goes on..

regardless if you love it or not.

nothing..

2008-06-26T00:59:00.002+08:00

if i can't expect anything things from you... then why are we still together?

if nothing is the only thing that you can give, then why are we still together?

if everything is what you can give to others but not me, then why are we still together?

i am tired...

i can

2008-06-19T10:42:00.002+08:00

i can take this... definitely.. i can survive and become stronger..

I am a fighter, not a loser..

I cannot take it anymore

2008-06-13T16:57:00.002+08:00

are you all trying to test how far and how much she can take?

ok, you all won, she cannot take it anymore...

she is going insane soon..

Stronger

2008-05-20T11:14:00.003+08:00

Chao Boon will be a stronger person

with or without you..

*Don't ask what life can give you, ask what you want from life*

needed

2008-05-12T21:50:00.002+08:00

i NEED a CAR... not a expensive one... just a small little car to fetch lkk to and fro from sch and drive didi ard....

i NEED help... to get us out of this sticky situation...

SIAN~

what do you all expect me to do??

2008-04-13T13:37:00.004+08:00

funny,

that i had to face an ill mannered and low IQ delivery guy from supplier, a old bitch working in the same company with that stupid guy...

then,

i have to face the "prestige" delivery uncle and the lady boss to call to scream because the uncle complained to her...

DO YOU KNOW THAT, BECAUSE HE IS THE UNCLE, that is why i cannot just scream the hell out of him and ask him to do whatever HE SHOULD DO because HE IS THE DELIVERY GUY!

really sick and tired of working there.... super lowly paid and very highly stressed job!

okok, let's put it this way.... thou shall not flare up because of my health.... what goes round will comes round....

this is just a puny problem which i can face up and get done with it!

igothighEQigothighEQigothighEQigothighEQigothighEQigothighEQigothighEQigothighEQigothighEQ

Me

2008-04-06T19:01:00.002+08:00

went to batu pahat with lkk and my in laws...

the trip is actually for lkk to learn how to "map" his mind... but i think i got mine mapped instead...

had a cough and mild asthma on the first nite of the stay... and went to see a chinese doc..

this chinese doc... seems not bad... he took my pulse for a while and "gave" me an imaginary slap on my face..... he told me that... i SHOULD NOT bottled up all my feelings and should not get angry easily... i SHOULD look on the BRIGHT side of LIFE and SPEAK MY FEELING TO WHOM EVER CONCERNED!!

if not, my liver will suffer and i might get serious health conditions.....

so,

I SHOULD BE COOL AND LOOK COOL.... i also merely told lkk that if he go on and make me angry... the doc said i might puke blood and died....

LIFE... is like a bed of roses..... bloody red roses...

小人勿近

2008-03-12T19:25:00.004+08:00

oh my god!!

life had attained to a higher level....

even a mere worker can throw a BITCH FIT and still get comforted for it....

congrats, your endurance had upgraded to a higher level!

小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近小人勿近

Live your life~

2008-03-11T09:42:00.002+08:00

Live First,
Things Second

ya, the importance of life...

Chicky poxy Lkk

2008-03-06T17:08:00.002+08:00

yup,

lkk got chicky poxy and he officially took over the position from lfl and became the new chicken poxer in our house!!

.........................................................

easy target

2008-03-02T12:03:00.004+08:00

first of all, LKK's "CA1" results... his sch dun really have CA1... more like a mini test..

English : 19.5 / 25

Maths : 29 / 30

Chinese : 23 / 50

ya, he flunked his Chinese test... because of a very itchy hand mistake, he actually got the right answer for a 2 mark qns (which he actually will pass if he do it properly) then his itchy hand, drew a V line instead of a straight one... so the teacher mark him wrong for that..

VERY ITCHY HAND RIGHT??

anyway,

recently someone i know, told me that i am an easy target...
not because of the things that i do, but is because i am too "soft"

i just want ppl ard me to be happier, less political and simplier...

but, ppl will still pile nonsense on me and expect me to live with it...

like, there is no room for discussion, because i said so, then i have to go ahead with it.. regardless if i got no money and transport of my own at that moment of time..

like, i am NOT SUPPOSED to work on sat by the order of some unseen rules.. but i have to be seen early in the sat morning at the office... and get scolded because i am there..

like, i cannot touch your stuff, because is YOUR PERSONAL STUFF... but some cheap chee na woman can bring it home and use it...

like, i asked you if you got see this slut recently.... nope, you din.... but funny, she still managed to break into your car and steal your PERSONAL lappie home to use..

like, i am damn tired sleeping 5 hours per day and i still have to face ill mannered customers, endless housework, alot of questions from lfl and the "day dreaming syndrome when doing homework" lkk..... that syndrome is inducing a blood puking effect on me..

sigh..

why??

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

is a constant battle

life...

2008-01-15T12:58:00.000+08:00

i was down with a very bad flu last few days....
and the after effect... a dizzy spell.... so "gong" until i felt the surrounding swaying....

something happened recently makes me felt more for life...

SOOOoooooOOoooooooo Happy that we are still alive......

ya, really.. alive as.. ya, a little flu and cough here and there..... but nothing serious..

i still can spend time with my kids and see them grow... yup... compare to all the nonsense that "nobody loves me", "i dun have this and i dun have that" or "i should deserves more" ....
seeing my kids grow strong and healthy is far more important that all those boh liao things in life....

although chup loh is abit chuppy this few days... but he is taking NORMAL MEALS AT NORMAL TIME AND NORMAL SERVING, he should be packing back his bb fats in no time!

and for panda loh... i had been FORCING HIM TO GO TO BED BEFORE 8PM...so he should be the rosy, white skin doe eye lkk in no time too...

Soo....

in the year of 2008.. i will still put more oils for the sake of my sons.. and lose fat for the sake of beauty... :D

coward

2007-12-11T21:04:00.000+08:00

ya, i am too coward to go on....

i just cannot find another source of strength to face those things you ppl expect me to face with grace, loving, understanding and tons of forgiving......

when you can be too busy at "work" that you cannot attend his primary school orientation but can be free enough to drive down all the way to pass her "urgently" needed passport?

when you can be too busy at "work" that you cannot attend his graduation concert but can forsake sleep in order to send and fetch her in the middle of the nite from airport???

when you can be too busy to source for his school 3 km within the radius, dump us back to the house and let him comes home with an empty stomach?

is not your fault that you dun care abt us... you have done your best...
we are the ignorant and annoying ones... who dun know how to give way to your happy life...
maybe it will take less then 3 years for you to lead your happy life
just try to bear with us for the moment

thank you

drug abuse

2007-11-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

i think i will start my post every time wif this until i get it

I WANT A CAR... not a EXPENSIVE ONE, just a PICANTO will do!!

drug abuse..

i had finished the 5th bottle of the cough medicine in my house... and my nightly cough is still very happening.... sigh.... sian....

and i think... cough medicine is very addictive...

so how?? dun drink the med?? cannot, the cough is so bad that i cannot sleep and will get assma..

try chinese med?? very expensive leh... one dose cost ard $50 and need ard 6 doses for 3 days...you tot i so pu until i can afford to swallow gold izzit??

maybe is the surrounding... i should move to a place which is more calming and serenity ...

then i should always end my posts wif this until i REALLY end this problem...

"can please faster settled this issue peacefully?? so that i can go ahead with my life??"

SIAN!

into other people's story

2007-11-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

my philosophy bugs are bitting me again..

am amazed by how actually total stranger can FORCE into other people's life story and become part of their life.. or best, messed up or destroy their life....

ya... relationship.. how human work?? they got involved into a relationship.. changed each other's life.. then regret.. then think of all the means and method to get out of that particular relationship which nobody on earth forced them to commit... except themselves....

funny rite??

ANYWAY.. let's just put that aside till i got another philosophy to rebute it...

i recently 'pioing' to buy a car.... ya ya, again.... but hor... i really seriously thinking of having a car will make my life easier.... see, going to work or coming back will not be a "goodwill" gesture..
and i can fetch lkk to and fro to the after school care next year when he is in pri 1

going to and coming back from grandma house will be a breeze.... :D

this is the car that i pioing... cheap de lah... of course!!

KIA picanto..

i am tired

2007-10-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

first of all.....

i caught a baby lizard.... usinga plastic container.. and i think i somehow... hurt one of the "hand" in the mist of catching it...cause got no "fingers" when i caught it....... -_-"

ya, it's still in the plastic container and will throw it when i muster enough courage to face it again...

i am tired...

very very tired....

especially i see didi shivering after i maoed him today.....

i am not a good mother..

it just suddenly hit me...

2007-10-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

that... i am in fact, so helpless......

when my kids climbed on the window and actually managed to pullout one part of the grilles...

i tried calling for help.... but, well.... nobody can actually helped me... either some are too far from me to help.... while the others just couldn't be bothered....

it suddenly just hit on me that.... what the hell is going on?? why on earth am i with 2 super hyper kids and doing TONs of things while he get to enjoy somewhere else on pretext that he is "working"??? and i still have to face earthquake and fallen window grilles??

Is this what other ppl are going thru too???Is this normal????? Is this FAIR???????

CAN I HAVE A BREAK???

thinking...

2007-08-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

i actually got alot of things to blog, but the moment i sat down infront of my new, easily get warm, fan very noisy, keyboard get very warm easily and "my typing suddenly become very slow" lappie... my things to blog flew away..

hmm...

what shall i blog?? the jialat clerk that i employ?? the world class AH @ my house? or shall i blog abt life??

i dun know...

dun know in the sense that... hmm... well, you are rushing up and down, here and there... for the sake of who?
why are you rushing ard like a mad woman, yet, no ppl appreciate what you done or even, give a "ya, NI XIN KU LEH" look..

then please just leave me alone in a corner to let me continute wif my life.. dun even come and disturb us...

ps: the heat generating from the lappie is really making my hand numb.. why har??

busy..

2007-08-12T21:38:00.000+08:00

very very very busy...

that's why loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnngggggg time din blog.....

hmmm...

ok, i shifted to new office... trying to settle down and learn all the NEW things...

then.... i HIRED someone who cannot handle her OWN work properly and still want to poke her nose into other ppl's business and at the age of auntie, she still likes to ACT CUTE LOR.......... and also because of all the above mentioned, i was being scolded ALOT OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway,this thing will be over soon... i really dun have spare time to do her job, got my own things to DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

and,

recently i put on weight again.... i think i look fat again..... OMG!!!

no no no...i cannot let this thing happen.... !! i must be prettier than ah bee when she got married.... hahahahaha....
(yes, wai gong's smiley flower got flower blooming leh)

but, seriously, i think i am fat..........fat.........fat.................fat...........fat...........fat......FAT!!!!!!!

my creator..

2007-07-17T20:25:00.000+08:00

ok,

the creator of my life.. my form and me being here..

i think my creator is quite stingy about my strength to survive and and will power to fight..

you see... i am not ugly, nor pretty.. not really fat but definately not skinny.. not stupid but not smart either...

due to my not this nor there... lead me into a very confused state...

i appeared to lead a very good life, with my husband having a few showrooms and a growing business.....
got to work in a VERY flashy car everyday.. and i got 2 smart kids...

what more you asking for?? you are leading a very good life.. if you compared your life to those less fortunate, you are very lucky you know...

ya, good life.. i have a "imaginary" husband who behave like cinderella, only comes home after 12 am, for 7 days per week..
2 energy draining kids who will get into a new fight every 5 mins... except for the time when both are asleep..
take mrt home everyday with a bloody heavy laptop on my shoulder and a train full of PEOPLE..
cope everything at home (cooking, housework) without any help from OTHER PPL because i scared that domestic helper might beat the pulp out of my kids and my cinderella wun even lift a finger to help...

aiya, what is so bad abt your life... nothing wrong wif it..

nothing really bad happened.. just on top of that, i got myself a world class jerk for husband... he claim and claim the hell out of himself that nothing funny going on wif him and other... as what i always said, sub standard bitches... bitches who will only cling onto him because they need a singapore PR or they need a singaporean to set up a bloody company here... or because maybe he likes to bring them to expensive and fancy restaurants or drive them ard in his flashy car..

and because of these sub standard bitches... he would rather divorce me and protect them...
he will push me to the front if there is a strange insect or something... and i am his wife.. someone who he should use his life to protect... but he din... and for some low class bitches, he would rather give up his lifetime maid(and danger shield) inorder to protect their identities..
nothing going on?? you really very sure??

this is the part when my creator will increase my limited will power wif another 20%..
giving me another 20% of strength live on and tolerate this nonsense..

and when my 20% are going to be used up... my creator will give my another 20% to fight on again...

so, wif this 20% of will power... i will have to face all the rubbish...

wondering

2007-07-09T21:06:00.000+08:00

have you wonder why we existed?

i am tired of the situation i am in.... very very helpless....

i tried to made the situation better.. but nothing seems to improve...
in fact, i think it became worse...

even some lau cai cannot got toilet, he at least go make the effort of buying prune juice for her..
but for me, i just ask him if he can buy some thoat meds for me... he ask if the med will make me mute, if will, then he will rush down and buy....

and when i already tell him the information for at least 3 times... he still needs to go confirm with that hua chi...maybe he is trying to prove to me that i am a worse worker compared to her... therefore, everything need to let her know, everything must go thru her..

how much more nonsense do i need to endure??

i really dun know how long i can still hold on, or how long i still can manage...

feelings

2007-07-05T22:25:00.000+08:00

i am actually very very angry just now....

but, somehow, i managed to pull myself back...

anger...

is a 2 sided blade...

i must learn how to manage my anger better.....
is not my fault when that person is stupid....
is not my fault when that person is over rating herself..
is not my fault when the person owns money and dun want to pay up

I just wants to do my job and do it properly...

not that i wants bother you...but i can function better if i clear my doubts...
and,
to prevent you from pounding on me.....

THIS IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS, YOU GOT NO RITE TO MAKE DECISIONS.

finding this phase familiar?? ya, this is always what you will throw to me....
but, funny hor.....

when other ppl give shit problems, you are willing to spend time and efforts to explain to them... and comfort them.... even when you know is because they purposely did it......

but for me... you dun even bother to answer me.... and you can give me rubbish like...
YOU ARE ONLY TO GIF ME SOLUTIONS, NO QUESTIONS...

hmm, maybe you forgot... even you the auntie whom you paid thousands of dollars per year, will call and ask questions before she is able to provide you wif the solutions...

why? i also dun understand....
is it really you treat outsiders better then your family ppl?
or i am just another unecessary ppl ard you???

i am already trying my best to help... and if doing several things at the same time is not good enough... then too bad, i really not up to the mark of your expectation.

but, i am still a very hot tempered person.... and seriously i might really slap her on her stupid face on of this day if she still try to be funny..

stupid mistake

2007-06-28T23:46:00.000+08:00

i made a very stupid mistake today, so stupid until i also find it stupid...

i actually wanted to clarify.. but judging from your usual style, you will only scold me and once again insult my ability to work...

ya, i am not smart... but i am doing 4 things at the same time when i made that stupid mistake...

what to do... i am stupid, just not like someone, who will act innocent and blur infront of you..

seriously, i am stupid.....

my ear

2007-06-25T20:51:00.000+08:00

hmm... abit strange for this period of time..

first, my back pain till i went hospital..
then now,

one of my ear blocked.. and i cannot hear anything except an annoying Eeeeeeeeee sound...

-_-"'

ugly?

2007-06-22T15:40:00.000+08:00

can you please stop lying to me? i am really very scared...
you have made human seen so ugly...

when will i be a happier me?

缘之禅

2007-06-19T20:13:00.000+08:00

姻缘，是天赐
孽缘，是自找

find this phase very meaningful...
if the happiness is already here,
why you butt so itchy still want to go about searching?

anyway, zen aside.... i think i put on weight....
although the weight is still the same,
but i look rounder compared to last week...
cham lah... i think i had too much good food at ni ma house this week..
i think ni ma house got a "fatty" fengshui..
will get fat even you drink water only at her house...
-_-"'

something is wrong...

2007-06-15T17:08:00.000+08:00

ok, i know i should not complain abt life... but...i feel that something is definately wrong somewhere...

no, not that i cannot take the nonsense and wimping like a loser...
no, not that i am not strong enought to withstand the rubbish dumped onto me...

but..... just wondering...

izzit, life lied to me?? you wun get what you want even you put in effort?? people will just entertain you because you are still useful...not because of the effort that you put in...

so, why should i changed for the better?? for the sake of who???

can someone tell me that i am not wasting my time changing myself?? as least i dun need to felt so idiotic..

past the stage

2007-06-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

well, i have already past the stage of fantasying that i have a husband, i am merely your wife when festival necessary...

not, me who wanted you to come home early... the "demand" was from your sons... why daddy cannot come home early to play wif us??

and, the only old and lousy excuse you gif is that.. you need to work... you got work commitments... althought you put in the effort to phase it differently, but, the meaning is still the same.... *yawn*

but, funny?? you are always on ready mode and have time to go entertain those funny characters?

tired to find out who is more important to you?? your family or those funny character you happened to met on the road? and the answer will be disappointing for my kids...

can you help me out of this situation? tell them the truth?? ya, daddy dun want to come home because you all are too noisy.. too demanding.. and i just simply dun enjoy being home wif all of you...

i seriously think that all you need to do is to tell them the truth once, is alot better than me always lying to them...

thank you..

pi water

2007-06-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

first of all, there is something i like to clarify...

not because i want to poke my nose into your affairs, just that i dun want to see another me in the future... my life is not a bed of roses... so dun go that way...
anyway, since you think you can handle it... then good... i trust you should have the mind to think and eyes to see..

back to my pi water...

got this funny water filter installed today because i found some unknown substances in the tap water that i used for boiling...

the water after it filter is called pine water... or on net, pi water...

used it for didi milk formula... and when i wash the bottle, it dun feel so "sticky" and "oily" like the past...
and i... used the pi water to wash my hands... :D

my hands felt moisture and "cartoon silky soft" looking...

so... the pi water actually not bad... and if you all are interested... please call me at 0000000

haha, no lah, but seriously i got lobang for getting the pi water filter... and if you are really really interested... send me a email bah... tranquil_lotee@yahoo.com.sg

and hor... i dun sell pi water machine de hor...just find that the pi water is really nice.. so intro to you all lor..

my name...

2007-06-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

i thinking of changing my name... to something more stylo milo and not so common...

so i found this name...

CWEN

cwen ng jia lo tee...

good??

haha...

ouch! II

2007-06-08T13:09:00.000+08:00

the pain was actually not so intense on the day before.. so i just boh cham and let it be...
then, yesterday... the pain came back... so i tot, maybe i just lie on the "negative ion" mattress that i had... and the pain will gradually go away.. just like last time...

but, my sir wants me to bring him go sun plaza to buy that game that he had been EYEING for a month... and i think the "negative ion" is giving negative feeling on the pain, so i think i should see a doctor on the way too...

then, after seeing the doc and taking the med... i vomitted... EVERYTHING...
so, my lau ban niang and lau ban think i really cannot liao... voluteered to send me down to hospital... and for the first time, i din raise much objections and agreed... cause the pain is killing me...

i vomitted from sun plaza till KKH, and i wonder if i will get to meet my stomach who faithfully served me for the past 29 years if i continute... but after injection... the vomitting stop... so, my stomach is still comfortable settled behind my layers of fats...

and hor, got alot of ppl came to visit me during my short trip at kkh... like gathering.. haha...

now, the pain is not really so unbearable like yesterday, i think the painkiller that kkh give me are quite strong.... but still got alittle stinging pain at the lower back area...

hmm, dun know if i will lose more weight after this?? hopefully will lor... hahahahahaha~

moral of the story?

2007-06-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

due to my abdominal cramp, i was unable to sleep... so i went to watch 2 shows on the sarced net...

very disturbing show...

"protege" and "spider lilies"

for spider lilies, by rainie yang... maybe because i watched her other show, devil beside you... so, dun really can accept her lesbian role for this particular show.. and the show is abit slow and boring too...

for protege... there is a pair of drug abused couple... the wife took up drugs because she wants to prove to her husband that this habit can be kicked... but in the end she got kicked instead...and left behind a little girl...
is fine that you want to waste your life, because is YOURS... but, why you want to give birth to another life in the first place when you can't even handle yours?

so, yesterday was a disturbing night, by my cramp and the shows....

ouch!

2007-06-05T14:43:00.000+08:00

pain is the feeling i have now...

no, no, not mentally pain or emotional pain... but really really very pain..

stomach cramp and dun know which part pain... just the whole area THERE is painful...

lie down pain, sit up pain.. and even stand up also pain...

and i am curling up like a cooked prawn, except the prawn is red and i am pale...

so what is happening to me???

can we end this quickly

2007-06-04T22:36:00.000+08:00

can we end this once and for all??
especially since there is already no room for discussion..
i dun like to drag and is not your style to drag as well..

so,

can we end this faster,

then you can go ahead and celebrate wif whatever low standard bitches for your long lost freedom..
while,
i can adjust myself back to the SANE me.. and get on wif my life...

thank you very much for your help..

husband & wife should stay together..

2007-06-01T20:12:00.000+08:00

this phase came from my 6 years old son.. and, he is not like one of those mature kids who think beyond his age... even his teachers commented that he is behaving like a big baby sometimes.....

but,

that day i asked him a question... using my most "casual" tone that... if, one day, daddy moved to ah ma house, while the 3 of us continued to stay at our current place, will it be a wonderful idea?

he replied in a very serious tone... "why?? you and daddy are husband and wife... you all should stay together.. like my ah ma and ah gong... you see, there are times ah gong is very angry wif ah ma, but he still stayed wif her... and there are times when ah ma is very angry wif ah gong... she still stayed wif him... so we all should stay together because we are family, i want us to stay together...can you please dun get angry wif daddy?"

how i wish i could tell him the fact that i am not angry wif his daddy....but, his daddy is the one who no longer wish to be part of this family or even see us as his family... to him, we are nothing but trouble makers and burdens....even a stranger is far more important than the 3 of us...

can someone please tell me to be unfeeling and heartless like somebody i know, so i can ignore my son's feeling and go ahead to lead my sane, normal and not so twisted life??

any idea??

2007-05-31T17:26:00.000+08:00

hmm, something funny is happening to me...

i am having this fever at ard 3-4plus everyday for the past 1 week... while, the whole day my temperature is normal...
somebody din come and look for me for more than 2 months... AND I AM NOT PREGNANT...
i got this twisting left eyelid that had been dancing for a few days...
my throat pain and i think got ulcer there too...

i suspect...early memopausing??
and to add salt to the wound... i will be in the same league as my mother and mother in law.....

how wonderful can life get when you are approaching 30 years old???

btw, i still haven't get to watch pirates of the carribean III... no ppl wants to watch wif me..
:(

the end is near~

2007-05-29T17:08:00.000+08:00

the end is near... or shall i put it this way, the end is here...

hmm, i will really bring alot of qns wif me after i end this.. but i dun think i am able to find the answer...

like, why did you want to get married when you are planning our divorce even when you said "i do"??

like, did i really leave alot of shit for you to clear after me??

like, you really suffered alot when you are wif me??

like, am i really your nightmare??

like, am i really your burden??

like, am i really that not important to you?

anyway.. i know i wun get any answers from you and the answers are not longer important..

ya, the finale is here.. we should give our best shot and finish this show...

and for other ppl who still concern me..

yeah~ the fever also finally decided to have a finale wif me and my temperature is rising even when i am typing this entry now....

Didi..

2007-05-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

this is what didi learn in school and able to recite..

长颈鹿，四条腿
肚子锇了，不会跳，
给香蕉，它不要，
你说好笑不好笑？

this is the way that he sing birthday song to his classmate or whoever's birthday that "crossed" his path

'Happy birthday to you,
you belong to the zoo.
there are lions and tigers
and the monkey loves you..'

so, anyone needs a birthday song from him??

the value of a woman

2007-05-26T11:31:00.000+08:00

what is the value of a woman?

is she valuable when u first know her?
fresh, new and interesting?

is she valuable when u two are an item?
caring, loving and protective?

is she valuable when u both said "i do" and vow forever to each other?
united, unconditioned love and till death do us apart?

is she valuable when she is pregnant with your child ?
responsiblity, additional beings to your life and new roles to adapt?

is she valuable when she is raising your children?
burden, avoiding and endless quarrel?

is she valuable when she sort of aware that someone new had replaced her in your heart?
Lying, accusing and she is too possessive over her husband?

is she valuable when she no longer see the future with you but she saw the end instead?
weary, lost and giving up..

maybe..

she is no longer valuable to you...

new de...

2007-05-24T21:07:00.000+08:00

new de...

maybe be heaven's will, maybe human's arrangment.. but whatever it is, i deleted my old blog account and started this new one...

will as usual, update the blog with my encounters, my loteekiaS encounters and other ppl's encounters..

:D